What Glenn imagines having taken place:
George Armstrong Custer (a.k.a. Autie): Libbie, you know that photograph of me that we had made on the East Coast, the one I like so much? I’m going to hang it in our study at the house in Fort Abraham Lincoln when we get there.
Elizabeth Bacon Custer (a.k.a. Libbie): Are you sure that’s a good idea, Autie? Won’t people think you’re an egomaniac? Who hangs a picture of himself in his study?
Autie: I don’t care, Libbie. I’m a big, important person; a man of substance; a man of world-historical significance. I’m already a Civil War hero. By the time I depart this vale of tears, everyone will know my name. I will have achieved greatness—military, political, and personal. People will remember me forever. My deeds will be legendary. Jeremy Bentham, the British reformer, had his body stuffed so that it could serve as an inspiration to future generations. I’m thinking of doing the same. But first, I have greatness to achieve. Where’s that photograph?
Libbie, shaking her head: I’m not sure it’s a good idea, Autie, but it’s your house, too, so do as you please.
Autie: Thank you, dear.
What Keith imagines having taken place:
Elizabeth Bacon Custer (a.k.a. Libbie): Autie, you know that photograph of you that we had made on the East Coast, the one I like so much? I’m going to hang it in our study at the house in Fort Abraham Lincoln when we get there.
George Armstrong Custer (a.k.a. Autie), groaning: Please don’t, Libbie. The officers and their wives will think I’m a raging egomaniac. Who hangs a picture of himself in his study?
Libbie: It’s not you who will be hanging it, Autie. I will be. It’s my house, too, after all. Until we have children, you’re the extent of my family. What’s a house without pictures of loved ones?
Autie, sighing: Okay, dear, but can we at least remove the photograph when the post photographer comes to make images of us in our house? It’s one thing for a few officers and their wives to see it; but do we want the image to be out there for posterity? Won’t people like Glenn Jackson use it as evidence to support their hypothesis that I’m vain and egotistical? You know I’m neither of those things. I’m merely confident in my abilities, like any other successful person.
Libbie, sternly: George. I’m your wife; do as I say. You told me that you’re going to hang a picture of your idol, General Sheridan. Well, I’m going to hang a picture of my idol. The discussion is over.
Autie: Yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear.
Written by Keith Burgess-Jackson on 25 February 2023.